stop on by
Posted on September 5, 2008 - Filed Under blogger love
I’m over at the New York City Moms Blog today.
Stop by to read about Sam’s first taste of school.
what i did during my summer vacation
Posted on September 2, 2008 - Filed Under time flies, mommyhood
So today is the first day of school for The Mistah, he’s got kids and classes to teach and the kids and I miss our fun-filled days at the park and adventures of this past summer. We all feel like we could really use another six weeks of summer… especially me. I feel like I’ve missed the missed whole summer. Seriously, I just blinked and it’s September.
I blame it on having a baby in June and then the 6 weeks of hormonal crashing and the crazy and the getting used to life with a newborn. Clara is 11 weeks old now and I can hardly believe it…she’s losing her newborn-ness and turning into an infant before my very eyes. I don’t remember time flying by so quickly when Sam was a baby. Maybe it was, but I certainly didn’t have anything to compare it to.
Last week my brother, Uncle J, was here for a visit. We all had so much fun. He arrived on the Saturday morning and it took Sam only about 15 minutes to warm up to Uncle J and the two were immediately best buddies. The last time my brother saw Sam was last October, and there’s been a whole lot of growing in these last 10 months. Sam has turned into such a little dude: he talks up a storm and rarely sits still. He has such a sense of adventure and curiosity and is quite the mimic. I had such a great time watching my brother and Sam play and have fun. I’m sure Uncle J is feeling a bit wiped out, as Sam had him running all over the playground.
In our week of visiting, we were at the park almost every day and for hours upon hours. On the Sunday, Uncle J, The Mistah, Sam, and Sam’s great-grandfather–PopPop–went to the Mets game where Sam sat for 10 innings and cheered for the home team. And during the few moments where Sam got a little restless, he watched the planes taking off and landing at nearby LaGuardia. And they ate some ice cream.
We also went the Bronx Zoo and saw all kinds of crazy animals. But that was the day that my newborn became an infant, in my eyes. Clara was no longer loving lying down in her part of our Phil & Ted’s double stroller. No, she wanted to Sit Up. And we quickly made that conversion somewhere between the bears and the monkeys and, friends, I nearly wept. MAH BAYBEEEE.
Tomorrow, Sam begins his very first school experience. We have a meet-the-teacher in the morning, and then on both Thursday and Friday we have an immersion program in which Sam gets to check out his nursery school. Starting next week, he’ll be in school two days a week. I think he’ll really love it and I’m not really worried about him adjusting. He’s a very social little boy and loves to be around kids his own age. He’ll be making new friends and experiencing new things.
I am a little sad to send him off, but I know it’s the right thing for both of us. But for two years it’s been Sam and I, every day. Of course we’ve had Poppa home before more of our friend’s dads are home and two wonderful summers with Poppa home to play and help out, I know I am so lucky to have that. But it’s been just the two of us, I’ve taught him so much.
Today we were looking at the screen saver of The Mistah’s computer, which is set to be a slideshow. Sam was identifying himself and his friends and asking “What’s that?” and I could tell him a little story about every single picture. I remember exactly where we were and what we were doing and who we were with and probably what he had for lunch that particular day. Wasn’t it just last week that he was in his exersaucer? Wasn’t it last weekend that he was learning how to crawl and only went around the room skootching backwards, right under the Christmas tree? I hear him say things like, “Did you have fun?” and “Yay! Friends!” and I know I taught him these things.
So, with some anxiety and lots of excitement, I send him off to school with his big boy backpack and lunch box and wait for him to bring home his first macaroni art. I am so proud to have been his first and most important teacher.
Henry at 4 months
*****
If you’ve been reading me in your feed reader and haven’t been getting updates, you might want to reload your subscription. I don’t know what’s happened, but I’ve heard from a few folks that both Google Reader and Bloglines haven’t been updating for me. Poopy on them.
betchfest
Posted on August 28, 2008 - Filed Under blogger love
Have you heard about the betchfest?
Over the long weekend, I’ll be hosting an opportunity for a fellow unnamed blogger to have an open forum to get a few things off her chest. Completely anonymously.
We all have those things we really want to write about, whether it’s about our boss, husband, mother, mother-in-law, whatever. Usually it’s not a subject we can blog about freely on our own blogs. So, the betchfest is offering a weekend-long blogswap wherein a space is provided for some truly uncensored, messy, honesty.
The betchfest is the brainchild of Catherine and, as she says,”sometimes, you can’t vent openly - that is, yell at people to their faces, or, say, rant freely on your blog - without risking big trouble.” So here’s that opportunity. Please check in over the weekend and lend your support to our fellow anonymous blogger.
filler
Posted on August 28, 2008 - Filed Under just sayin'
We’ve been enjoying The Mistah’s last week of summer vacation (in fact, he went back to work today, his birthday. Boo having to work on your birthday) and a nice, long visit with Uncle J.
The week has been fun and busy and has included a trip to watch the Mets lose play a game in their final season at Shea Stadium, a great day at the Bronx Zoo, hours upon hours at the park and a lot of laughs. I’ll update soon. Once I can get my head around the whole two-kids-husband-back-to-work concept.
habitual regression
Posted on August 20, 2008 - Filed Under mommyhood
When Sam was a baby, we worked very hard to instill good habits and routines. The Mistah did some reading about sleep and we were a little crazy about how Sam would sleep. When he was first home from the hospital, Sam slept in a Snuggle Nest between The Mistah and I. After about a week or so, he moved to the Mini Co-Sleeper, attached to our bed. He first started sleeping through the night at around nine weeks. At about 12 weeks, we moved Sam into his own bed. I never nursed him to sleep or rocked him to sleep or anything like that. Our rationale was that we didn’t want to rock a 20 pound kid to sleep…ever. And I didn’t want to be the only person that could put Sam to bed at night. Sam never rarely slept in the stroller, or in my arms, or anyplace other than his crib.
As Sam got older and his nap time routines became more regular, it was not uncommon for me to excuse myself from playgroups/coffee dates/lunch dates/whatever when it was time for nap. We weren’t regimented in forming a schedule, but Sam had a natural rhythm that he followed: up at 8:00 with a bottle or nursing; nap at 10:00; lunch at noon with a bottle or nursing; nap at 2:00; bottle or nursing at 4:00; dinner at 6:00 and a bottle before bedtime around 6:30 (what a wonderful bedtime that was!).
I know that with Clara we won’t have the luxury of being anywhere in particular at any given time. Sam starts school in a few week, two days a week. I’m sure between drop offs and pick ups, it’s inevitable that she’ll be napping at some point. She’s much more malleable in terms of needs and schedules than he is. She’ll be in the stroller or the Moby or on my lap more often than not.
Already, I see myself following my instinct and against my better judgement rocking her to sleep (not totally asleep, but drowsy), because she likes it. When she’s up in the early morning to nurse, I bring her from the co-sleeper into the bed with me. I never nursed Sam in the side-lying position — too terrified that I’d smother him with my giant ta-tas. Now I’m just too tired to sit up and nurse Clara, so by default we side-lie. I have to be completely honest: I love the cuddling and nursing we do in the mornings. I love to feel her tiny body curled up with me.
Clara won’t take a binky. And given the struggle we’re having now with Sam, I’m not at all sorry that she’s refusing it. We’ve tried a few different varieties, but girlfriend is patently Not Interested in the binky. Fine by me, I say. She is, however, appearing to be a bit of a thumb sucker. Just this morning, she successfully jammed her thumb in her mouth for comfort and sucked herself to sleep. It bothers The Mistah and Gigi, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I was a thumb sucker, and I sucked my thumb for comfort straight up until I was nearly 18 years old. I had years of orthodonture, but most of my funky teeth issues had nothing to do with thumb-sucking and more to do with some wonky genetics.
I think it’s adorable when she sucks her thumb. That it’s a blessing to wake up for the day holding her close to me, in the most primal ways of connections. A few days ago, The Mistah suggested moving Clara to her crib in her own room and I cried, “DON’T TAKE MY BABY AWAY FROM ME!”
I had a tubal ligation following Clara’s delivery, thereby ensuring that there will be no further siblings. Clara is our last baby and I’m trying to savor every last moment of her delicious newborn-ness. Because it’s true: they grow up so quickly.
Today it’s taking a nap in thier own crib. Tomorrow it’s dropping them off at college.
in which i own up to it
Posted on August 16, 2008 - Filed Under woe is i, mommyhood
There’s been a lot of talk recently amongst The Internets about pregnancy, delivery, postpartum and depression. Has this talk always been there, or am I just hyper-attuned? But maybe it’s time for me to swallow my pride and face some facts.
I ain’t right.
[[And if you’re a member of my family and reading this, do me a favor and call off the dogs. I’m okay. I’m not SAD. I’m just not operating at 100%. I’m feeling a little…bent.]]
The other night, in the midst of an argument, The Mistah said that he just wanted his wife back. That I used to be fun, happy, funny. And I’m none of the above anymore. Friends, I don’t have to tell you…that hurt.
But it’s also very true. This pregnancy took a lot out of me, both physically and emotionally. And we’ve had more than our fair share of stress in the last year. The truth is, I don’t feel like myself. And even truthier, I haven’t felt like myself since last summer, the summer of uncertainty and worry.
I’ve been fairly open about all of this with my OB and with my shrink. And, honestly, though it’s nice to have receive some empathy and compassion, I really don’t want to be told “Oh, it’s just the hormones.” Or, “You just need to get some sleep.” Because, in my heart of hearts, I think I know that it’s not just the hormones or the sleep. The hormones and the sleep are definitely part of it, no doubt. It’s a cocktail of uncertainty, worry, fear, helplessness, hopelessness, shame, ambivalence, and apathy.
I’m not proud.
And? I left a message with my therapist last week…AND SHE HASN’T CALLED ME BACK. WTF?
I know that I need to take charge of my life and myself…I need to take a dose of my own assvice, that’s for sure. But I have a very hard time asking for what I need. Especially from the medical profession. What I don’t understand is this: why won’t my care providers listen to me and take me seriously? I know I could be a little more, I don’t know, less evasive or more aggressive. But when a woman with a history of depression, is currently in crisis, has had a dozen or so anxiety attacks in recent months, and has just delivered a baby…well, wouldn’t logic dictate that perhaps postpartum depression is something that might need to be discussed? I know that I also probably need to find some new care providers. But that just seems like…so much work.
I love my children and my husband. I’m just not enjoying them. I am a cranky, bitchy mess. I am demanding and controlling and short of patience and energy. Getting through the day, sometimes, is a seemingly insurmountable task. I have hives over 100% of my body and cannot take antihistamines (oh wait, I have taken an antihistamine…and the hives kept coming. And I’ve just spent 5 days trying to get my milk supply back up). I have just finished a 7 day course of prednisone with zero relief and a lovely parting gift of another drop in my milk supply. I am exhausted right down to my soul.
I don’t know if this is garden variety depression, postpartum depression, some strange mix of depression and anxiety, or none of the above. Some of these symptoms have been present for a long time. But sometimes, when your so in the weeds, you can’t see straight. And that’s totally my MO. It’s been more than ten years since I’ve had a depressive episode. But, looking back, I know that I was in rough shape when I finally got around to helping myself. And I had a great therapist who marched me out of his office and straight into his colleague’s office where I was evaluated for medication. And thank god for Serzone and Trazodone, is all I’m saying.
It’s always been my strong belief that the more we talk about our struggles with depression, with mental illness, then we take away the stigma and the power of shame. So here I am, keeping it real.
Someone, please, send me some Zoloft. Or the balls to ask for some.
in which i emerge from underneath the technological rock where i have been held hostage.
Posted on August 6, 2008 - Filed Under just sayin', mommyhood
Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last post.
And there’s a really good reason for it, I swear. I mean, aside from the baby and the toddler and the pregnancy hormones and the tired and the boops.
I’ve just gone through my second power cord in as many months (chalk it up to computer in bed and the wootsy angle of the thing that goes into the other thing) and I’ve not had access to my beloved PowerBook. But just 20 minutes ago the doorbell did ring and lo! there was my package from Hong Kong containing my Brand! New! Powercord! And also a box from my friend Marty (thanks for the Medela bottles and the ModMum sling!). HOORAY!
So, while I’ve not been without access to a computer or Internet for the last two weeks, I have been without access to my blog because I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME REMEMBER MY WORDPRESS USERNAME AND PASSWORD. Le sigh.
In any event, the bitch is back. [Three snaps up in a Z formation!] And I have bullets until I can muster up the language for a *real* post. Also, I owe the New York City Moms Blog some serious posts, so bear with me.
Bullets:
- Clara is over 10 pounds now (Yay for mommy’s boops!), probably nearing 11 pounds now
- She’s got some kind of gassy/digestive issue that we’re trying to work out but otherwise, to date, we have another Angel Baby (*cue angels singing*)
- Sam is the picture of the proud big brother. He loves her so much–almost to a fault (see yesterday in which a finally napping Clara was startled awake by her overly enthusiastic brother near-violently rocking her car seat, shouting “THERE SHE IS! YAY CLARA!”).
- Clara can and has gone on a few 4-5 hour sleep stretches–mostly in her bouncy seat. Girlfriend needs an angle to sleep. And does NOT like to be on her back. AT ALL.
- As I type, BOTH KIDS ARE SLEEPING. And Clara is sleeping in her crib. In her room.
- It blows my mind a little every time I say kids. Plural. Woah.
- I know why you’re all really here and it has nothing to do with me or my witty repartee. So without further ado…
Oh the cheeks. Nomnomnomnom.
Ice cream on a hot summer day. Also Nomnomnomnom.
what? i have a blawg?
Posted on July 23, 2008 - Filed Under mommyhood
I am seriously lacking in both time and motivation. Blogging seems like a distant memory. I have things I’d like to write about (nursing Clara, breaking up with friends, walking the fine line between regular postpartum crazies and postpartum KRAYZEE, watching The Mistah be Super Poppa, my unhealthy addiction to all things baby related on Discovery Health, and also Intervention and Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (oh yes, I went there), but I am so very tired and so very unmotivated.
Is this blog neglect normal after the second (third? fourth? tenth?) baby? When Sam was newborn all we had to do all day was nurse and hang out in bed. With Clara, if she’s not nursing, I’m trying to sneak a shower or play with Sam or eat something. Or sleep. SLEEEP, oh how I miss thee.
Will you settle for bulleted updates? I’m afraid it’s the best I can do for you, for all 5 of you that bother to swing by these days (and I heart you all. Truly).
- Clara is 99.9% exclusively breastfed and gaining weight nicely. Our breastfeeding experience couldn’t be more radically different from her brother’s if we tried. She’s had some nights where I thought my boops would fall right off or spontaneously combust from the soreness and I gave in to the cases of formula that was given to us at the hospital. In her 5 weeks on this planet, she’s had about 2 oz of formula.
- She’s still nursing every two hours, which wears thin quite quickly. Especially during the night time. *KNOCKING ON WOOD* The last few nights she’s gone 3 to 3.5 hours. Wahoo.
- I’ve broken out in spontaneous hives all over my body. I’ve never had a hive in my life. And now? Covered by roving hives. The doctor was stumped, as was the allergist. Nothing new/different in my diet or environment (except for the baby). We’re chalking it up to the shift in hormones. I directed to take Zyrtec, but I’m wary as antihistamines, by their very nature, dry up secretions. I don’t want to mess with my milk supply, I’m very superstitious and paranoid after my breastfeeding experience with Sam. So I suffer. And itch.
- I just bought a Moby wrap and I’m in love. LURVE even.
- I may have an issue with Facebook. As in, I cannot stop. In an act of protest, I do plan to post a photo of me nursing my baby, that THAT Facebook.
- I’ve been enjoying reading everyone’s recaps of BlogHer ‘08. While I’m disappointed that I couldn’t make it this year, I do have a nice excuse. One of the main reasons I feel bummed that I couldn’t attend this year is because I’m SERIOUSLY lacking focus and motivation. BlogHer’07 really pumped me up about blogging and gave me
a hangoverlots of swagnew hope and direction. I need this in my life right now. - I apologize for not being a better blogger (and blogger friend — you should know I’m reading all your posts, but I haven’t been commenting because I find one-handed typing too difficult to manage while nursing. That seems to be as good an excuse as any, right?)
this is the difference
Posted on July 16, 2008 - Filed Under just sayin'
When Sam was just 3 weeks old, I’m pretty sure we hardly left the house. Except for trips to the pediatrician. Maybe we walked to the end of the block. I was still hopped up on Percocets and hobbling around. Sam was wee and deemed Too Innocent and Frail for the Outside World. Seriously…I think it was at least six weeks before we took him to Starbucks, not to mention the two months before he went out for a ride in the car.
But with Clara… shit, we just plopped her in her carseat and drove to Massachusetts for an impromptu mini-vacation. Never even thought twice about it. And she was a champ in the car, too. I even did some creative nursing in a moving vehicle.
We spent 5 days at Aunt K and Uncle G’s house in western Massachusetts. While, for me, go anywhere is really just to look at other people’s stuff while nursing the baby, Sam and The Mistah and Aunt K had a blast.
We spent an afternoon at this giant public park that had an awesome water feature, tons of jungle gyms spread out over acres, paddle boats, a train, bumper boats, and a petting zoo.
Being a true city boy, Sam perfected his dog walking skillz.
Sam helped water the grass. And himself.
Took a ride in the wheelbarrow.
Dude, child labor is cheap. And adorable!
On our third day, we all took a trip to the local Whole Foods. The baby was sleeping her car seat and Sam was having a blast driving the car attached to the shopping cart (another gem of suburban bliss? You don’t see those in the city. Nor do you ever see the words “Buy One, Get One Free.” But I digress…). We passed by the local microbrewery handing out samples of their beers (delicious!). We walked by the local pizzeria offering slices of their organic pizza (also delicious!). We tasted some local creamery ice cream (mmmm!). Seriously, this was like A REAL DATE: drinks, dinner, and dessert. I sure wish we had a Whole Feeds in our neighborhood. Then we wouldn’t have to pay Manhattan dinner prices!
After our time in The Country, it almost seems cruel to bring the kids back to the city. Our visit made me long for sending the kids out into the backyard after breakfast and just putting plates out on the porch for lunch. For the kind of sleep only achieved by spending an entire day outdoors running and playing and exploring. For setting up the Pack ‘n Play on the front porch and just making sure the baby is in the shade. For eating dinner outside. For farmstands and local produce.
But, just driving home last night in the twilight and seeing the city skyline and the twinkling lights on the Brooklyn Bridge, the glistening of the water in the wake of the Staten Island Ferry, the Empire State Building lit up in Yankee blue in honor of the Allstar Game, and serenity of Lady Liberty in the New York harbor…it’s great to be back home.
and on the 8th day He created cake
Posted on July 11, 2008 - Filed Under blogger love
I’ve save the best guest post for last. The family and I are all up in Massachusetts for an impromptu visit with Sam and Clara’s Aunt and Uncle. And nothing says family vacation like this delicious cake. I hope to be baking this over the weekend…assuming Clara lets go of the boob long enough.
*****
Hey everybody! Carly here guest blogging for Miss Liz while she does that whole taking care of baby(ies) thing. I always get a little nervous when I’m asked to guest blog because I totally don’t know what I’m doing. I really shouldn’t even be allowed to have a blog. Yet I have one and have for several years now. I guess if Scarlett Johansson can make a music cd, then I can have a blog.
So I thought I would write about what I know best. Food. And the eating of it. And also the making of it. This recipe is for a cake I recently tried at a friends house. It brought me to my knees and I may have wept at her feet and promised her a kidney should she ever need one.
She called it Coconut Key Lime Cake. So I guess I will also call it that. I shall start by saying that there are no actual pieces of coconut in this cake. Which is good because I do not care for the texture of coconut. It’s like when you’re at a picnic eating and all of a sudden you get a piece of grass stuck in your mouth or something. I do not dig the coconut flakes. I do, however, really dig the flavor.
So here are the ingredients involved in this delicious cake.
- Lime Curd
- Cream Cheese
- White Cake Mix (oil, water & eggs)
- Vanilla
- Cream of Coconut
- Lime Juice
- Strawberries (optional)
- Coconut creamer (optional)
So I mixed up the cake mix according to the directions on the box. I split the batter into two 9 inch round pans. My friend got super fancy and cut each one in half so that her cake had like 4 layers to it. I am not that fancy. I simply had two layers. Once the cakes have baked and cooled it is time to make your filling. The cream of coconut can be found on the aisle where all the drink mixers are kept. Coco Lopez is another brand I’ve heard of. Or shoot, get some Malibu rum out if you are feeling especially naughty.
So you know how when you bake a cake it forms a bit of a hump on the top? Well you will want to cut that hump off and make the cake as level as you can. This also helps it soak up the filling better. So I spooned many generous spoonfuls of the coconut syrup all over the cake. For measurement sakes lets say it was about a third of a cup total. Then I spread more generous amounts of the lime curd all over the cake. You can also use lemon curd if you can’t find lime curd. Or my sister used lemon pie filling when she made this cake. Get creative. The world is your oyster. But please, for the love of cake, don’t use oysters in this recipe at all.
Once you are done with your filling layer, put the other cake on top. Cut off the hump and repeat the filling process. Then set the cake in the fridge. And now we shall move on to the frosting.
I don’t suppose it matters when you make the frosting. You can make it while the cakes are baking. You can make it first. I ended up with a LOT of leftover frosting so you can either cut this recipe in half or just sit around eating spoonfuls of frosting. I won’t tell anyone.
I took two blocks of cream cheese that I had let soften on the counter. I put them into my Kitchen Aid mixer along with 1 cup of powdered sugar and two teaspoons of vanilla. You see that weird looking plastic bag of brown liquid in that photo? That is some fancy Mexican vanilla that my aunt shared with me. She had a big bottle of it and she blessed me with some. And boy am I happy she did. You just don’t know vanilla until you try good vanilla and not that 97 cents a bottle imitation crap I’m used to using.
I digress.
Now while you are mixing your powdered sugar, cream cheese, and vanilla you will want to squirt in some lime juice. You can use fresh squeezed or you can be lazy like me and use the kind in the plastic lime. It’s all good. I used about a tablespoon. Then I added about a tablespoon of coconut creme Coffee Mate. Now you all can just add a tablespoon of the coconut syrup that you already have on hand. I just happened to have this creamer because well… it rules. Makes my coffee oh so good. The point is to get some lime and some coconut flavor into your frosting. Mix it on a medium to high speed for a few minutes to get it all well blended. Then you can frost your cake.
Now when my friend served this cake to me she sliced up strawberries and laid them all over the top. And it was good. And I would have done the same except that I bought my ingredients about 5 days before I actually made the cake. And we all know what happens when you don’t use your strawberries right away… they mold. So the strawberries in that photo are all kinds of moldy and I promptly threw them away after taking that photo. And really, you don’t need them. They are just a bonus. Her cake was all about the presentation. Mine is all about taste. Because as you can see, the finished product looks ok. It’s not going to win any beauty contests. But just you wait until you take a bit of it. You might just be promising me one of your kidneys.
